But just don’t leave others in your shadow
As we embark on a journey where we passionately seek to develop ourselves into better individuals, it is possible to forget those who were standing with us, when we made that choice to change.
It can be too easy to lose ourselves in the moment.
During the transition of our minds, bodies, or spiritual well being, it is reasonable to expect, that we may want to impart what we have learnt onto others, or introduce new ideas into our immediate environment e.g. home, or work.
Occasionally, these new ideas may be welcomed by others in the same setting as ourselves. Some, not so much.
However, given how the change is interpreted, can either cause a positive flow or downright disarray in relationships.
In my case, it seemed disarray was the option of choice. To be someone, who failed University twice (may I add, due to other commitments, but that is another post for another time) and to be the one who felt undermined and belittled by another, is not a position I would openly allow anyone to be in.
Being belittled and undermined by one who I thought as having a high standard of respect for themselves and those around them, was not what I expected.
This type of behaviour should not be tolerated by anyone, but alas it happens and this can be destructive to the receiver.
It is important that we welcome the fact that not everyone can or will be open to change. Our individual circumstances, our current situation, our priorities are all different to each other.
When trying to organise and prioritise two young children, school and work (and previously university), I thought that home life would be a supportive one. One in which I could feel like I belonged, but it was just another stressful environment. One where I had to keep up to the standards of the house, which eventually nearly led me to burnout.
As tempting as it may be to teach someone new tricks, those proposing the change, should take into account who it is they are conversing with. It is important to realise that those who are younger or older have and are living a different life, and addressing information to any individual, needs to be taken into consideration. The tone of voice, the language used, the timing in which you communicate all play a part, in how the information is relayed by the receiver and will play a part in the decision that they will make.
To come across as showing a little understanding, may be all that is needed to persuade those being taught, to think higher of themselves. To come across as a dictator, may result in the opposite effect.
We need to always make sure that whoever was with us at the beginning of our journey, no matter how small the contribution, will not always be there if we decide to dictate to them rather than educate.
So let’s not forget how to talk to another human being with respect and care, wether it was those who washed our socks, cooked us a meal, or simply took the time to ask how we were.
As these are the individuals who we should be glad were next to us in times of trouble and loneliness. If anything, we should inspire them to walk with us as we embark on this journey. To walk beside us, rather than walk behind us.
This post was featured on Medium.